Kindness: A Measure of the Spirit

I was overwhelmed with JOY!!! I could barely take it into my consciousness!  So many thoughts and emotions flooded me at once. How could someone’s simple act of kindness touch me so drastically? My usual analytical mind couldn’t even figure out why I reacted so strongly to it. I just was in ‘total bliss’!So many difficult situations that really seemed like horrific ‘challenges’ had hit our family lately. Putting one foot in front of the other seemed a Herculean effort at times. There had been ‘near – death’ situations, illness, injuries; many situations eliciting shock, compassion and empathy from my attentive heart.

 

I had tried to inspire myself to little avail this time. I looked up an inspiring quote by John Wanamaker: ‘One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time.’ I tried to pay attention to  Jack Penn’s wise words: ‘One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.’ Nothing seemed to help, until I walked into a Home Hardware shop this morning.

I drove silently to the bank and then on to the hardware store, reminding myself that I had forgotten to bring my cane that I used now more as a security crutch following a serious knee injury a few months earlier. Oh well! I could just be careful and walk slowly to make sure I didn’t trip on any roadway imperfections.  I was putting much attention on each step to avoid further injury and quietly entered the retail shop.

Turning the corner, I headed to the back area where I knew they had a couple of ‘butane’ cylinders that I needed for my ‘hair curling iron’. They were difficult to find now because the manufacturers weren’t making butane curling irons anymore for safety reasons. I didn’t care! Mine worked just fine and anything that makes my life easier is where I am ‘gonna go’.

As I noticed the manager walking also to that back corner, many thoughts entered my mind. ‘Should I continue along in that same direction and hope he moved out of my way, to prevent any potential bumping and possible miss- steps?’ ‘Should I divert my path and make a right angle turn and come in from a different direction?’ ‘I wonder what he is picking up from that same corner where my precious ‘butane’ is located.’ “I wonder if they have some in stock this time.’

Suddenly he turned and was handing me something. My mind didn’t seem to understand this fact. I was puzzled. I saw his outstretched hand with something blue in it. What was he doing, handing ME anything? I didn’t work there. I hadn’t even talked to him yet.

I looked at his hand in what seemed like slow motion as my head lowered to take it all in. I saw the familiar blue ‘butane package’. I still couldn’t understand what was happening. I looked up at his face as if to ask, ‘Are you sure you are giving that to me?’ He nodded. My mind registered this fact. I was in shock! ‘Do you have mental telepathy?’ ‘How did you know I was going to get that?’ 

He indicated that he knew it was a ‘staple’ for me and when he had seen me through the shop window, he knew I was coming in for it. He said he had ordered it just for me to make sure he had some in stock for when I came in. Again my mind was paralyzed with confusion. ‘How could a total stranger be ‘thinking’ about ME and MY needs amidst everything else going on in the store and in his life?’

I was laughing almost hysterically… like a giddy child. I was even giggling because I could hear it bubble up within me. I could hear myself thanking him and indicated great appreciation for what he had done. In a daze I headed to the exit still blubbering something about ‘how much it meant to me’.

My over analytical mind kicked in on the way home. Any time I react so strongly I take note. It was like my Spirit was coaching me or teaching me something. The thought fluttered into my consciousness that even though I was loved and appreciated and shown kindness by those close to me, receiving this from a total stranger was a rare occurrence. He had ‘seen me’, known what I needed, and took action to meet that need.

The impact on me felt monumental. It was as if the cells of my body had been injected with a new vitality. The remembrance of his unassuming smile infected my emotions as the doldrums vanished. His expression of compassion touched me deeply.

I have always thought that our misfortunes sometimes allow others the opportunity to express their own Spirits. Maybe this was one of those times. I was aware that he knew I had used a cane and had suffered an injury. Had he intentionally planned all of this to ‘lighten my burden just a bit?

The whole thing just reminded me again of the powerful, ripple effect of ‘love’.

This lovely man’s simple, premeditated act of kindness had revived my faith in ‘HUMANITY’!

This is the direction of Mankind- to the Consciousness of the Heart. My Soul absolutely recognized this. The feeling of the Soul is JOY and I felt it!!! 

 Love to all,

 Carolyn

 

Harmonious Spirit

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

“If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals.”

Author: Albert Einstein

‘You have to take him, Mom!” exclaimed my daughter up north. It was Christmastime and there was no room ‘in the inn’ which was actually the local Humane Society. Willis was a two year old French herding dog and his breeding suggested that he would watch over a herd of sheep, like a ‘canine-shepherd’ of sorts. I would never agree to take a dog sight-unseen but we had lost our beloved golden lab, Riley, and my husband (my kids father) the previous year, and my spirit seemed to realize we needed ‘something’.

Her two, female, black labs made him welcome, in her home, temporarily. She reported that he seemed very vigilant in his demeanour staring out the window as he seemed ever ‘on guard’. She promised me, if ‘things didn’t work out’ she would take him back with her.

So the Christmas present to our family, was Willis who got renamed on the trip down, to become Maverick. He had been found in the forest, having been ‘on the loose’ for several days alone, so the name seemed appropriate. The first clinic kept strays for three days before ‘putting them down’. Luckily the Owen Sound Humane Society (in Ontario, Canada) had no such policy and heard of the story. They brought him to their shelter and my ever faithful daughter saw him during one of her frequent visits. Even if she couldn’t save them all or provide a home to every single rescued animal, her heart-felt visits gave all the animals there, her company and her spirit.

My oldest daughter had studied The Dog Whisperer, Caesar Milan’s helpful tips so when Maverick arrived, she first took him on a long neighbourhood walk, and then ‘she’ introduced him to me and my son, and each room in the house. We all had to be ‘masters’ of our new family member first. That night, it seemed strange to us all, that he would sit perfectly still in an alert fashion, looking out the back window, as if guarding us all. We were used to our dogs lounging around with the family, ‘as’ a family member. We realized quite quickly he had been beaten, yelled at, and kicked. At the slightest rise in anyone’s voice, he would cringe, recoil, and try to disappear into the floor beneath him. His eyes darted about, as if looking for some elusive escape route.

A few nights later, I had a vision of him.

I could see and sense his male energy, my own spirit and a man’s energy. He was a heavy smoker.  I could ‘see’ Maverick as a youth, about 4 months old frolicking on the floor rubbing his back against the carpet, in pure delight. Then, in stark contrast, I saw him about 15 months old, cowering under a truck, in the cold and mud with sharp objects around him. I realized Caesar was correct because he had said that dogs ‘live in the present moment’. This is how it seemed. I could sense it like I was ‘in’ his personality.  Maverick didn’t want revenge, nor was he focussed on his future and trying to escape this abuse. He just existed in the present moment. Then my own spirit seemed to act in some direct forcible action. Some aspect of my own consciousness, energetically reached out and cut the energy link between  Maverick and his past owner. I was shocked! Never had I imagined something like this could happen!

I had no idea how or why this took place. I could only guess that it was so he could start afresh and not be too haunted by his ‘past life’ as a canine punching bag. From that moment on, he seemed more relaxed and alive. He even started to roll over on his back and wiggle about in what seemed like dog-happiness.

The next day we went to the local ‘leash free dog park’. Maverick still didn’t seem yet to realize we were his new family, because he would just follow faithfully along with anyone walking off along the pathways. My kids would have to race off to ‘ retrieve’ him. I guess he just figured everyone was part of the ‘herd’.

Then a most unusual thing happened. We could hear dogs barking a distance off. Maverick suddenly raced off, towards the raucous. I was stunned to see him speed off.  He jumped over the more submissive dog–victim, and stood right in front of the more aggressive canine. I witnessed him standing straight, chest puffed out and I guessed that there was a bit of a growl there as well. In any case, the fight was over. He never even barked. He stopped the violence just with his positive energy!

I had never seen such a thing in my life!

I thought that was a ‘one time thing’ but he has repeatedly stopped fights. His energy calms other dogs who have high anxiety, or aggressiveness. His inner nature ‘wants harmony’.

What an extraordinary Christmas present my daughter gave our whole family and many others that day!

Now he is my occasional co-counsellor. For those clients who have scattered energy, have suffered serious abuse, been attacked by dogs, or just need to feel ‘connected’, his loving spirit transcends. He prances in with an assertive, gentle bounce of confidence.

His loving spirit triumphed over abuse. This Beauceron herding dog is traditionally confident, stoic, intelligent and fearless. Maverick is now all of these except for the one time when a little fly got caught in his tail and he freaked out!  His unconditional love for humans and animals alike is palpable. Now he assists clients who need a gentle spirit. What an extraordinary gift he is?

When clients are in his presence or touch him, they connect with his harmonious energy, and then also with their own spirits again.

I am extremely grateful for this canine role-model  and teacher, who shows us  ‘how to BE’.

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.
Author:–Mohandas K. Gandhi

Love to all,

Carolyn

 

Over the Rainbow

Over the Rainbow

Shockingly, a tornado rips Dorothy suddenly from her familiar sense of reality to the County of Oz, a land far, far away.  We all know how it feels to be uprooted from what feels like our safe place into the realms of the unknown. We can learn much from the great classic The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, written in 1900 by L. Frank Braum as well as the movie adaptation in 1939, starring Judy Garland.

I have always loved this movie. My kids even today, joke about trying to change the TV channel the moment it comes on. Every time I see it I gain new insights. Of course as a youth, I identified with Dorothy, and her little dog Toto. The age of twelve represents the stage of transition and this is exactly what happened to her as she is taken so abruptly from her family on a journey of transformation.

I too at 12 years old, thought I knew everything and even ran away from home with my little terrier dog ‘Skipper’, thinking that my parents didn’t ‘get’ me or understand my major concerns in life. However, I only made it to the local raspberry patch behind our home; sat for awhile commiserating with my faithful dog and then headed home having released my pent up frustrations with life. This feeling of apparent separation from our parents epitomizes our ‘separation’ from ‘ALL that is’… but this loftly concept was far beyond my youthful insights at that time. Dorothy too begins to wonder what life might be like beyond her present boundaries and life experience;  ‘over the rainbow’ .

Whirlwinds in our lives such as the death of a loved one, life transitions, traumatic events or loss, act as catalysts for our spiritual journey. Dorothy had to face her unpleasant life events in the form of a tornado. It set in motion the challenge to her familiar life and sense of safety, and precipitated the important breakdown of the existing psychological psyche to surface inner conflict, anxiety, fear, guilt, sadness, so she could progress. Disintegration of patterns, beliefs and ego attachments lead to new insights, growth and evolution in awareness or consciousness.

After the violent twisting and turning, she lands in Munchkinland of rich colors. She realizes her house landed on the Wicked Witch of the East. Her twelve year old brain tells her she is trying to return ‘home’. In reality Dorothy receives the ruby, red slippers that represent her inner spirit and power, which propel her on her journey, down the spiralling and expanding, yellow brick road to enlightenment.

The Good Witch of the North, Glinda represents aid from the Spiritual Realms. She offers Guidance but allows Dorothy to make her own mistakes and discoveries.  Sometimes we wish this just wasn’t so. We get so tired of the choas, fear and uncertainty but our own inner resources spur us on.

Fear is apparent quite quickly. Dorothy states to her new friends the Scarecrow and Tin Man, “I don’t like this forest! It’s – it’s dark and creepy! The Scarecrow remarks, “Of course, I don’t know, but I think it’ll get darker before it gets lighter.”  Then Dorothy, the Scarecrow and Tin Man repeat,” Oh! Lions, and tigers and bears! Oh, – my –.“ They all experience fear, but still go on, one step at a time!

The Scary Forest, Flying Monkeys, The Wicked Witch of the West,and the terrifying Wizard of Oz all represent  the shadow side of humanity surfacing for recognition, release and healing. All of the obstacles along the path galvanize her towards spiritual growth. This is all a necessary part of the journey for progress.

As all the characters later fall asleep in the ‘poppy field’ and the Good Witch aids them to ‘awaken’, this marks the point when there is a shift in ‘awareness’.

Aspects of herself that aren’t totally integrated, surface along the road to self- discovery. The secondary characters support her along the way as she inspires them to connect with their true ‘selves’, and she with her own.  The Scarecrow is kind and compassionate but apparently lacking in intellect. The Tin Man is caring and smart but seemingly missing a heart. The Lion is a loyal companion but lacking in courage. Unbeknownst to them all, the qualities that they seek are ever present. Their awareness of this fact is just not recognized. …yet.

Dorothy’s quest allows them all to realize through circumstances that they truly possess these qualities after all. In fact, Dorothy’s courage surfaces early on, as she steps up to reprimand the Roaring Lion who threatens to eat her beloved Toto. Dorothy exhibits love for all, even for the Wicked Witch of the West when she throws water on her and the witch disintegrates.Wisdom comes as Truth to her in the end. These friends along her path reflect her ‘Self’ to her ‘self’.

Facing her fears, all of these qualities of wisdom, love, courage/will, and her own spirit are all required on her journey to ultimately discover the Truth that ‘there is no place like Home’.  

Dorothy travels from the land of ego to the enriched treasure within her own heart- the Green Emerald City –the place where finally the veils of illusion are removed to ultimately reveal  the reality of Truth. Toto pulls back the curtain to expose the man pretending to be a god… falsity of worshipping things outside of ourselves is revealed. Dorothy sought her way home externally but she didn’t realize the tornado took her from her ‘outer world’ to her inner world where ultimately they both were integrated. Her physical, emotional and spiritual journey, helps Dorothy rediscover her sense of ‘Self’ as she integrates her mind, heart, will/courage and spirit. Balance is restored. She feels whole again.  She then finds Truth, within, which was there all along.

If we believe something to be so, it is.

‘There is no place like Home’. Truth is found in our own back yards. The Kingdom of Heaven is not a place but a state of consciousness.  It is all within.

Recently while I experienced a higher state of consciousness I kept hearing the words ’Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ which lead me to look up the words and write this blog.

I realized the song simply illustrates the spiritual journey-one of Wisdom, Courage, Love, Hope, Integration, and Transformation.

Over the Rainbow

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There’s a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can’t I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow

Why or why can’t I?

(music by Harold Arlen and lyrics by E.Y. Harburg.)

Love to all,

Carolyn

Surrender: A Step to the Higher Consciousness and Enlightenment

Surrender- A Step to the Higher Consciousness and Enlightenment

Long ago, after I opened up to the Psychic and Spiritual Realms, I kept hearing a ‘voice’ claiming that I was a ‘child of God’ and ‘a servant of God’. To my independent nature this was ludicrous. I resisted what I thought was the ‘play of my ego’ and also being a ‘servant’ to anyone including God!

I didn’t know if I was caught up in the ‘limbo place’ as I had opened to both psychic and spiritual experiences. I determined in my own mind from ‘experience’, that Psychic phenomena dealt more with ‘spirits’, ghosts, channeling, hearing helpful voices, visions etc. There was no way for me to really know the ‘truth’ or benevolence of any directions, or suggestions that were given to me. My scientific mind overanalyzed everything that happened to me. I couldn’t tell if the ‘voice’ was my own imagination or some spirit or playful trickster, or my own Divine Guidance. At that time I didn’t even know we could ‘get’ Soul Guidance.

Slowly I began to realize ‘experiences’ of the Divine were subtle in energy or I could ‘sense’ the Truth of them within my ‘core’. There seemed to be a higher vibrational quality to these profound Truths. So I made a choice. I shut down all Psychic phenomena and would only pay attention to experiences that I could determine to be True from within my core/soul area. This was the place that was my barometer for Truth.

As I began to connect more  with my own Soul Guidance, I felt able to ‘surrender’ to the Divine at greater depths. The Soul takes us deeper and deeper into love and from that point, there seems to be a ‘self- renunciation TO the Divine. This in turn takes us to a deeper connection TO the Divine.  This at first might be more of a mental process with ‘intention’ but eventually we are Guided from within.

Surrender is like a yielding, …a giving over to God, a letting go of desires. It feels like I am giving a ‘gift’ of something To the Divine due to the tremendous evolving Love FOR the Divine, which steadily grows as our bridge to our Soul is traversed. We are ‘giving our selves TO God’… relinquishing our ‘attachment’ to everything at greater and greater depths.

The more we know of our self, the more we can surrender in genuine love. We do our emotional work. We discover the issues and solutions and then we go deeper. The depth of surrender comes from our growing love for God and this is perpetuated by the Soul itself.

It seems the more self- knowledge we have, the more we know ‘what’ we are surrendering.

At first it seemed to be superficial things like, having tea that week, or surrendering my ability to be analytical all the time. Then it felt like I was to surrender very important things like my ability to read or walk or think at all. Then it was my profound Union experiences with God.

One day I had an internal vision of elderly washer woman. She seemed to be carrying a pail of dirty water. Her profile was to me and as she turned, she looked right into my eyes. Instantly I seemed to receive a message:  I was to surrender even the most profound spiritual experiences such as ‘Union with God’. I was shocked. Then information was conveyed to me: These experiences were no more profound than the dirty water in her pail. God is all things, even the dirty water in that pail. Again I was shocked. These experiences were so sacred to me… so powerful in their clarity as they promoted such a connection with the Divine. As I looked at her as she trudged away, I realized I couldn’t do it. I didn’t know how. So, I just ‘intended’ to let them go. Instantly I was ‘taken to a partition of heavy plastic that seemed to be an entrance into a room. The room was empty except I saw a broom moving and sweeping out the last sawdust from the room until it was totally clean. (We usually get visions that have some meaning in our lives. My deceased father had been a carpenter and then teacher and sawdust always reminded me of him)

I assumed this clean room represented some ‘cleaning out’ of more ‘ego stuff, because instantly I was guided to a quiet place that seemed like a safe place of protection right in front of what seemed like ALL THAT IS… I felt held in the hands of God… and waited, for the next stage.

Over time, I was ‘Guided’ to give up more and more. It felt like a ‘knowing’ within my core… I just knew!  I kept hoping it wouldn’t involve my ‘children’. Each time I went through the process of genuinely ‘surrendering something’; it felt like I may really be giving them up forever. I did it with such authenticity and from my heart but then my mind would occasionally ‘kick-in’ and I worried because it really felt like I was giving these things up. Eventually I realized that I was surrendering them like a gift, as if paying homage to God,… honouring God with what I was surrendering. I was letting go and offering all that was important to me, including ‘me’… my very existence.

I thought the Peak Spiritual Experiences were the height of what I could surrender, but then I felt Guided to surrender my body, and then my life and then my existence/my spirit. Each of these things felt like I was going to die! Much courage was required. Much faith was needed.

At the more surface depths, I faced letting go of things like accomplishments, how I thought of myself, goals, material gains and desires. At the greater depths I faced my own mortality and realized the great strength of ‘will’ we have as human beings to ‘survive’ and exist. I could feel this ‘will’ to survive like a ‘real, tangible thing’. I was Guided to relinquish my ‘will to live’, .. even my own spirit.

(It made me think of those who have transitioned into death. I realized when their time comes, it ‘can’ be helpful to encourage them to ‘let go’, and why some souls choose times when no other family members are present, simply because that might make it harder.… That ‘will to survive’ is so strong.)

The great mystic saint Teresa of Avila, from the 16^th century, wrote a passage about her own journey saying: “she offers His majesty her will to live. This is the most priceless gift she has to give”.

I was so happy to read this because it validated my own experience that was so difficult.

During this ‘Surrender’ stage or phase of my Spiritual Journey, more and more clarity came with regards to my mental processes, emotions, issues, my pride, my fears, and my virtues of courage, faith, and trust. As I really faced my own apparent dissolving ‘self’, into what seemed like ‘oblivion’, my evolving selflessness to give my entire ‘being’ and ‘life’ TO the Divine, grew.

In the old days we might have been in a place for nuns or priests, or in an ashram for guidance. We in the West have few Personal Spiritual Teachers… so our inner Guidance leads the ‘way’.

Every time I was able to surrender something, I would move into greater Spiritual Heights.  My journey seemed to progress in steps… Surrender at greater and greater depths and then came miraculous progress. The deepest things to surrender lead me to the Absolute (the Higher Consciousness)/Cosmic Consciousness/Connection with Oneness/ with ALL….The Divine.

All of these gains were actually more and more connection with the Creator, and more clarity about ‘what that means’.

Saint Teresa of Avila wrote a book called The Interior Castle which was transcribed and translated by Mirabai Starr. Sister Teresa had a vision of a crystal castle that represented 7 chambers in spiritual development towards the ultimate soul’s union with the Divine and then the manifestation of this into the world.

At a time when I felt so alone in trying to understand the esoteric, mystical side of ‘Spirituality’ I was lead to this book that helped me so much. She validated so many of my experiences, when no one I knew could.  She helped to explain the process of ‘spiritual development’. Her descriptions of the Union with God and then the soul-felt anguish that comes when you feel separated from this union, was familiar to me. All I could think of was, ‘Thank goodness someone else knows what this feels like.’

One night I wondered if she realized that 500 years from when she wrote her book, that it would help not just her fellow nuns during her lifetime, but also someone like me, in 2006 who needed her ‘guidance’.

Instantly, I had a vision of her in her nun’s habit. I could just see her face and her expression was one of ‘great joy’ and exultation. She was overjoyed. I knew she ‘knew’.

The difficulty: Our Ego doesn’t want to ‘let go’.

A.H. Almaas addresses this, in his book ‘The Inner Journey Home’..’Soul’s Realization of the Unity of Reality’.

   “The ego-structured soul is too scared and distrustful to let go of her major defining structures, which makes surrendering difficult. The distrust causes her to identify with these structures even more rigidly, for they are the building blocks of her autonomous existence and functioning.”

He indicates that as we make progress in ‘surrendering’, the soul then feels an increase in consciousness and ‘Presence’. He states,” Deepening levels of surrender finally invoke the full presence of divine love….”.

This Presence then ‘reveals itself as the ‘boundless ocean of Being, and love, consciousness and light, the substance and true nature of everything….The presence of Divine Love … .. holds the soul and assuages her fear and terror’. ..’The discovery and integration of divine love gives her a great support and momentum for the further stages of this difficult journey’.

This Divine Love instills a sense of trust so that one can more spontaneously and from greater depths, relax, let go and surrender ego concerns, and cares. It feels like you are ‘being held by the hands of God’, and being comforted. I have on my living room table a bronze sculpture of hands gently holding a tiny baby. This symbolizes how it feels to ‘me’. We are held by the loving hands of the Divine and in turn we ‘trust’ with faith to eventually ‘give’ our total selves into those hands. This is a major part of the journey.

Along the way we have our own Inner Guidance. We are also guided by others who support or guide us as well. It could be passages from a book, or the smile from a stranger at a critical moment in our lives or even an 11 year old client coming in for help who ended up acting as ‘my’ helper. We ARE Guided.

I learned that ‘being a servant of God’ wasn’t so bad after all. It meant surrendering my ‘total’ self, with great humility, authenticity and faith. I was ‘loved’ through the process. The results have been miraculous.

Much Love to All,

Carolyn

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The Winding Path to Enlightenment

 

The Winding Path to Enlightenment

Small Steps can lead to big changes.

Most of my clients come in for counselling, related to physical, emotional, relationship, financial, or spiritual issues, but invariably move through these ‘to’  a more ‘awakened’ consciousness.

Over and over again I see what seems to be a major issue that requires ‘healing’ that acts as a catalyst for progress along the ‘path to enlightenment’.

The ‘Journey’ is a winding one that leads up and down; turns sideways; moves into reverse; flows upside down; and then back into a flow that seems intense, subtle or ‘turbo speed ahead’.

We come to clearings in the darkness, to clarity and times of progress, new insights, knowledge, peace, and then just as quickly we are plunged from these profound experiences of connection to the seeming drudgery of the mundane.

It feels like we are going from Light into Darkness… and we are! We feel lost! It feels like we have lost something precious. It is only through ‘Faith’, ‘Courage’ and the ‘inner push’ from the ‘Soul’, that drives us on to the ‘Unknown’.

One time when experiencing this ‘feeling of loss’, I had an internal vision.

‘In front of me was a path going upwards into the misty, fog and the Unknown. To my immediate left I saw a very straight ‘road’ into the more solid looking city with police cars symbolizing ‘safety and security’. That ‘way’ seemed so much easier. However, I ‘felt’ from within my ‘soul’ that I was to take the more ambiguous path upwards and the one that seemed less clear at that moment.’

I just had the ‘intention’ to go upwards into what seemed like obscurity.

Immediately I felt ‘reassured’ that I was on the correct path. It was only the ‘Inner Guidance’ that gave me this insight and ultimately more ‘Faith’ to keep going. I realized over time that each obstacle, belief, illness, injury or ‘down’ time, shed more light on the ‘shadow’ aspects of myself. The trials and tribulations lead me to ‘know’ myself more and more. Healing continues as we traverse this never-ending path to enlightenment. It is a process.

The challenges help us learn and grow. We ‘see’ our false beliefs. We begin to let go of attachments, judgements and fear. The focus on ‘ego’ shifts to become more and more ‘the focus from the ‘heart’ and ‘Spirit’.

Often I have found that some of my clients are not even aware what ‘healing’ or ‘growth’ is occurring at the time. It doesn’t really matter if our ‘waking consciousness ‘ is aware of individual ‘steps’. It is enough that we continue to try and be mindful.  Progress will just keep happening. It can even happen in the middle of the night if we are too tired or have no time or energy to ‘meditate’. One night I woke up all night long, knowing that there was ‘purification’ occurring.

There are many tools that can aid us on this tumultuous journey. We learn what works.

1. Support from others– friends or professionals.

2.What coping mechanisms have we used in crisis situations in the past?- exercise, listening to music, looking at something of nature or beauty, breathing, celebrate things in the NOW- release emotions , crying, singing, dancing, doing fun things- rest-laugher-whatever seems to nurture us.

3. Using Mental Coping Mechanisms if we need time to rest or recover from things: temporary avoidance; talking about things to someone we trust; intellectualization, as we analyze things and become more mindful; self-talk. etc.

4. Look at our Previous Experiences– what worked for us in the past when in crisis.

5. Turn to Faith and your own Inner Strengths– prayer- yoga- meditation

Ultimately we develop more and more awareness, feelings of ‘connection’, wisdom, clarity, and sense of harmony within ourselves and in our lives. These also come progressively.

Our path along ‘self-healing’ IS the path to enlightenment.

Just as I started a year –long course in Spiritual Psychotherapy, my little toe of all things, was smashed and dislocated while I was travelling on the subway. A young man had leaped up to get off at his station when suddenly the train lurched and he lost his balance. His hard shoe pulverized my foot. It immediately went numb after the initial shock of pain. He left after a hurried heart-felt apology, never knowing that he had just altered my life for the next 7 months, let alone my entire Spiritual Progress.

I had experienced many profound Spiritual Experiences ‘above the head’ like Union with God, True Knowledge, visions of the Virgin Mary and Jesus and experiencing their intense love for mankind, as well as connections with my own Soul and seeing the perfection and interconnection of all things in life. But I felt something was missing. It became apparent only after the next stage was completed.

I needed to ‘integrate’ these higher consciousness experiences INTO my body. I don’t know how it happened but I know now it ‘needs’ to occur.

For 7 months I was ‘mindful’ of every single step I took. I noticed everything. Was that man ahead of me going to let the door go and it would hit my foot? Where could I sit on the subway and get to the doorway quickly at my stop? Who would open the door for me while I used my cane? Could I walk the 10 minutes each way to my College with this sore foot? Could I endure the pain when the chiropractor moved the toe imperceptibly each visit? Could I endure the sad looks from people when they judged me as an invalid? Could I celebrate each step forward?

At the end of this time, I had noticed so much about myself, others, life, the world… and… the higher consciousness now was more anchored within my body. This became evident to me when I realized that experiences that were so profound before, and that almost ‘blew’ my brain circuits, now seemed ‘part of me’.

This was a huge step! What had seemed like such a harsh ordeal to deal with for so long was in fact a tremendous gift. I moved light-years ahead in my ‘spiritual progress’. 

This doesn’t mean that everyone has to experience some sort of suffering like I did. It could be that someone works in an occupation where they work with their hands and touch nature. Or someone might be very conscious of their body already and have consistent exercise. Whatever the event or circumstances, I believe we are ‘Guided’ to a place where we do connect more with our shadow aspects, others, life, and planet etc. at multiple levels. This seems part of the process of integrating the Higher Consciousness with our waking, human consciousness.

As this Integration Process continued, States of consciousness became less about ‘witnessing’/experiencing them to ‘BEIING’ them. Instead of ‘feeling Divine Love descend into me’, or witnessing the immensity of Infinity, I WAS these things and then began to connect with the ‘essence’  or ‘True Nature’ of these things, which were ME- well in fact they weren’t ME as the sense of “I” is gone during these times.. (that is just one way to describe things).

An example to illustrate the steps:

 I AM the Wind as a general concept.

To: I know I truly AM the Wind- specifically- I sense the freedom that is the wind.

To: I know the ‘Essence of the wind’- what it actually feels like to ‘BE’ that ‘freedom’ of the wind- and there is no ‘I’.

We can know what it feels like to BE: Love, Peace, Compassion, Abundance, or The Cosmos Itself, or, Transcendence of ALL, even as we ARE, ALL.

So although this Journey to Enlightenment has trials and triumphs, keep going! We may experience physical or emotional healing but more importantly we are healing, growing, and transforming in ‘spirit’,….and becoming more ‘aware’, wise, and connected to ALL that is, and to our True Nature.

As we heal ourselves on multiple levels, we ‘are’ healing others, and the planet. Our uplifted consciousness ‘will’ transform those around us… and we manifest ‘this higher consciousness’ out into the world in whatever way we are Guided to do so.

Now, I ponder, “Why have I just seriously hurt my knee?” What is coming next?:-)

Much love to all,

Carolyn

An Angel?

An Angel?

       ”You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”       

 Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

I had just dropped my oldest daughter off at university and was heading home, during an ice storm when I spotted a young fellow braving the frigid, biting winds, by an open park. I thought he was the age of the local, university guys. He was struggling, leaning forward against the strength of this unseen force. My initial thought was to pick him up and get him home safely. My very next thought was to protect myself. I am a woman in this fairly open space in the darkening day-light. I drove on. I kept going.

He could be dangerous. He was old enough to look after himself. Someone else will pick him up if he needs help.

I kept driving.

I was almost to the highway that would take ‘me’ safely home. I had travelled about a mile from that young man. My thoughts were scrambled in my brain!

Keep going. Someone else can help him. Maybe he really ‘does’ need some help. He is not your responsibility….What if no one helps him and he really needs assistance?…. Keep going!

I stopped and turned around. I found him again. I realized he was younger than I had first thought. He was about 14 years old but large in structure, for a teenage lad. He did need help. I asked him if he wanted a drive home. He did. He got in.

I glanced at him and he was shivering markedly. He was so cold. I drove him about one mile to his home. My ‘nursing background’ informed me that he most likely would have succumbed to ‘hypothermia’ if he had had to walk that entire distance in that freezing weather. As he was getting out of the car I told him to rush in, and get warm, and have some hot chocolate… like I would say to my own kids or their friends.

He motioned to leave but stood near the doorway of the passenger side. He thanked me. I responded, “You are welcome, now rush in and get cosy in some blankets’. He didn’t move. Again he said, “Thank-you”. Again I said, “You are welcome, now hurry and get in out of the cold.”  I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t leaving. Then I realized I hadn’t really ‘looked’ at him since he had gotten out of the car. Instead, I was motioning with my head for him to get into the house. Again he said, more firmly this time, “Thank you”.

This was the third time he had said that, and everything that came to me in life, in ‘3s’ seem to be quite meaningful for me. I paused.

This time I looked up at him, and was startled by the look on his face! It wasn’t him! The features of this young adolescent boy were altered and softened. Even as I write these words, my entire body remembers those moments. I shiver even now in remembrance of that ‘moment in time’ that will stay with me forever! I saw ‘something’ behind this boy… something coming ‘through’ him to speak to me… Something or someone was ‘thanking’ me for making a choice….. for helping this boy….but there were no words! I felt it! I ‘knew’ it!

What was it? My mind wouldn’t work. I knew something profound was taking place. Somehow deep within me there was ‘knowledge’ without my mind working. There was connection with some Benevolent, Spiritual Being! How could this happen?

Where was the boy I had driven home? I looked at the Presence….this Essence that was merged with my car- mate. I felt the Divinity of it… I felt the Wisdom…. I felt the acknowledgement ‘from’ it that I had done something wonderful.  I just nodded…. My own wordless acknowledging of It’s presence… of its recognition of my ‘act of kindness’.

Just as suddenly, I felt the boy’s image change again. He was ‘there again’… as if nothing had ever happened. He smiled his boyish smile, waved and swiftly got into his home to recover.

What the heck had happened? I was stunned speechless- if I had even tried to speak which I wouldn’t have, since there was no real person there to talk to!

I started to drive towards the highway again- about 1 mile away- I was startled by something new, I realized there was a scent of perfume wafting throughout the whole car. I actually stopped just after I got onto the highway to see if my husband had put some new air- freshener in the car that might have tipped over and spilled. The scent was so strong!! It was pervading the car with a sweet light fragrance- one that was unfamiliar to me-I could find no obvious cause.

Several moments later it began to dissipate. (When I got home I researched and found that sudden scents of perfume could mean an ‘angelic presence’.) I thought of my young friend now warm and safe in his home. Had this been his Guardian Angel, thanking me for aiding him? Was this glorious perfume scent there to validate my own sanity to me  and that I hadn’t imagined it all?

My analytical mind wondered: Was this boy someone special?  Had I saved his life so that he could do something spectacular in this life? Did this happen to show me angels existed? Was it to show me that listening to our instincts and intuitions are important… OR… Was it not about some great mission this boy had but….simply ‘Presence’ acknowledging a single act of kindness…. and … ultimately ‘reflecting’ to ‘me’, my Self?              

                                      “The best portion of a good man’s life – his little, nameless,                          unremembered acts of kindness and acts of love”.

Author: William Wordsworth